I function best when things are neat and tidy. Things don't have to be perfect, and I am FAR from compulsive about being organized and sanitized! But, I do like to eventually get things in order so life flows a little more smoothly and a lot less frantically.
Life for the most part has been "tidy" for me. I've had ups and downs, and problems most everyone faces, but for the most part, I've straightened up the small messes, and gone on with living. The last few years have been a little more challenging for me. I've found life is not as easy as it once was. Emotional challenges, health issues, major decisions my children need to make, aging parents, and lack of sleep, all contribute to a feeling of being out of control. Life is not as "tidy" as I'd like it to be.
If I had my way, things would line up perfectly. The right decisions for my children would be completely and unmistakably obvious. My mom's memory issues would vanish and she'd be how she used to be. My glaucoma would simply be healed instead of me having to have surgery. I would not have had to deal with hurt and the emotions that accompanied that. And I would close my eyes and be able to sleep ALL night. Something that hasn't happened in about 3 years now!
Yet, I can say that am thankful that things don't always go my way. If they did, I never would have understood forgiveness like I do. I wouldn't have developed my relationship with the Lord through prayer as I have. I would not have had to trust my Heavenly Father for His care and understood His love for me. I would not have known that I can truly trust Him for my next step as well as the future for my life and for my family's lives.
Though life is not as neat and tidy as I would like, I know I have a God that walks along side of me daily. He sees the big picture and can be trusted to work all things together for my good because He is Good. I don't know what the outcome of my eye surgery will be on Thursday, but He does, and I trust Him because He has been and always will be faithful.
Though life can be messy, the Lord is an expert in straightening things up, if we will only trust Him!
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."